I’m an Empath. The technical term is clairsenitent and also I have clarescent. Here is the kicker…. I didn’t know these things until I read, “All women are psychic”. I had so many revelations while reading that book. I mean think about it. How would you know if you’re different? I think that everyone experiences the world as I do. Why wouldn’t they? Apparently not. This build is for those of you who may have ability but don’t know how to use or control it.
I have always been able to “step into” others. It’s kind of like the movie Ricochet or the book Wild Seed. I can feel what they feel and even look through their eyes. I could do this as a child. I was lucky because my mother is open to these things so she never told me I was crazy. But she didn’t really have a way to guide me either. It’s not her thing. My mother is clairvoyant. I know the right thing to say to people and I know how to say it because I can feel their emotions… I know when someone likes me, trusts me, mistrusts me, etc. That’s the good side. I have been engaged several times. I get men because I can feel what’s going on inside them But there is a flip side to everything. I’ve been engaged 9 times and married only twice. BECAUSE I can feel inside these men. I know who is going to be a good man in the long run. It’s not always cool to see the inside of people.
When you think about it, you share space with a small number of people. The people you live with. The people you work with. Your friends. And even the people you commute with. These people will be easier to move in and out of than complete strangers. But it is so possible with complete strangers once you get proficient. And it is really cool to see people jump when you affect them.
When I was in grad school, I was INTENSELY attracted to one of my teachers. It was unreasonable. He wasn’t my type. I knew better than to date a teacher. The feelings would be most strong after coming in contact with him and dissipate when he left. I could never figure it out. Luckily I went with my mind rather than my parts. 2 years after I graduated, we met at a meeting. He admitted to having a crush on me. I asked him if he had reasons for the crush and he came up with a laundry list. I didn’t have one reason to want to be with him. So I knew it was me feeling his vibe rather than jonesing on him myself.
I have a coworker that HATES me. I really don’t know why nor do I care at this point. But I can tell when she is going to have an episode. And I don’t mean when I’m around her. I can tell from home. I’ve not been wrong in the 11 years I’ve worked here. Some might ask why not step inside to see what her problem is. No. I don’t care like that and more importantly, I don’t want to be inside her. Nothing about her energy says that I want to do that. When you step inside another, you, leave a part of yourself in there and take a piece of them with you. So be cautious when you choose to do this.
As you can see, I have a level of openness. It have been years of trial and error to get it right. That teacher that doesn’t like me because I’m Black…. I can’t let their latent anger enrage me or… distract me. That lecherous patient that comes in the office just to lay his head in my lap. I can’t allow those nasty feelings of disrespect and objectification to diminish my self esteem. I have learned how to shield and set boundaries. More importantly I maintain said boundaries. I do not hug and kiss people just because. I don’t’ let folks touch me. I don’t engage in a lot of foolishness. I can’t afford the excess feelings. My hobbies tend to be solitary. I only do large groups sparingly. I went to the Victory tour when I was 13, and passed out twice. Some people need to release whatever they have going on and feel like I can take on their burdens. I can… But I won’t. Those people think me a heartless bitch. I have no time for that. Yes it’s a gift… But that doesn’t mean I have to share it with everyone.
I reconnect by playing with animals. My cat and I have a great relationship because I know what he’s saying to me because I can feel him. And he can feel me feel him. That’s why he comes when I call. Again I have many solitary moments throughout the day. I meditate to let other folks attachments leave m. I like to hike in nature. And spending time with my man makes me feel extra wonderful because I can really take in the love he has for me. There are people who have a lot of love to give. Empaths need to share space with these loving people. We can handle it. On the flip, there are stingy lovers out there and folks who, for some reason only have a finite amount of love to give. I avoid those folks. I don’t know why they didn’t get unlimited love. But it’s good to recognize.
Here is the thing… I catch. Can I throw? I’ve tried to direct my energy at others but I’m not sure if it’s received. It takes a minute to revert from throwing to catching.
I also have clairscent. I can smell things apparently others can’t. I can smell visitors. I associate smells with people. When those people need me to contact them, I can smell their smell. Even when they have passed on (visitors), when I feel them… I can smell them. I don’t know any real useful reason to have this gift but I have it. I accept it. The smell thing alerts me to things that need to be looked after. And I noticed that the smells a get associated with different items. I am in possession of my grandmother’s kitchen table. When I’m near it, sometimes I sense her presence through smell. There is no lingering hint of anything of her on the table because she died over 25 years ago. My uncle’s cigar, the way my aunt’s bathroom (go figure) smelled, with my father I smell Juicy fruit and leather. My mother is still here and I smell her perfume. I am convinced she sends that to me. When the death angel is nigh, depending on the smell I can tell who is going to transition.
Hope this was helpful.