One of the things that has helped me along my spiritual transformation was my fluid ability to change. That is not something that everyone is willing to do but something everyone can do…. let me explain.
I grew up like most people who are asleep. My parents permed my hair when I was 7, I grew up in the church, I ate meat, I was born again… I was all the things that sheeple are. But I’m not like that anymore. Why is it I was able to change?
When I became a vegetarian in 2000, surprisingly, no one doubted my decision. Since I was a dentist, people thought that I had the insight on how to be healthy. Nutrition was a quarter year pass/fail class that was about 2, at the most, credits. I don’t rightly remember since it was so long ago. Even my dentist friends were clueless about what I was going to face. But I did it, and made it work for me. Now I’m able to counsel folks healthfully who decide to make the same transition. That one decision taught me that I could self-actualize.
In 2003, my beloved husband died suddenly. I had never lived alone before. I had lived with parents, roommates and a husband. Never just me before that. When I didn’t have to consider anyone else’s lifestyle other than my own, it freed me to try on different modalities. Could I live with only natural elements around me? Yes I could. I stopped wearing pants, no one noticed. Could I stop perming my hair? Yes I could and did. Would my life change adversely if I loced my hair? No. I actually got my current hubby with locs. Would I lose my job if I got a nose ring? Nope. I’ve been on the same job for 13 years. The last 8 with the nose ring. Could I study paganism? Who was gong to stop me? Could I set up an alter in my living room? Why not? What could another person say? Where they paying a bill? Could I leave Christianity? Yes, and guess what? Lightening hasn’t struck me dead in the 8 years since I bounced. I saw other people struggling with what their families thought about their extra curricular activities. I didn’t have that problem. But in reality, no one has that problem.
If you’re the boss in your home, then you can do what you want. Who is going to stand against you and say no? But what if you are sharing an apartment? Well unless you are not paying any bills, you can do whatever the fuck you want. That’s privilege comes when you pay bills. When you are a child or a guest in another home, then you need to be mindful or you might get put out. I get that. Then lie. If you are an adolescent, put your altar on your nightstand or on top of your dresser and don’t call it anything. Don’t even mention it. I don’t know parents who don’t think their kids are messy or unfocused. If you don’t call it an altar, no one will assume that’s what it is. I used to throw solstice parties every year. I didn’t bill it a solstice party though. I just billed it as a party. Folks will come to your home for free food and liquor. But these folks were unaware that they were being involved in a ritual.
My point is this….. no matter what it is you wish to do… what you wish to practice…. no matter how you wish to live…. you can do it. You really can. All of the imagined obstacles only exist in your mind.
I hear so many people say they are living in the closet with regard to their spiritual/cultural lifestyle. I get that. I don’t advertise that I work roots. But when people find out that I work, they don’t say anything, nor do they treat me differently. Nothing changes. If anything they ask for freebies. I haven’t lost my job. I haven’t lost my new husband. If anything, my losses have been restored and in some levels my life has gotten better. Don’t let your thinking keep you from manifest your authentic self.